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August 04, 2004

Maureen Has 9 Messages

I don’t even know why I bother having telephone at my apartment. Real people email me or call me on my cell phone.

"..You have nine new messages and six old messages..."

#1 Sara from Debt Solutions, called to let me know that I am pre-approved for debt consolidation, and that I should call her back with my statements ready to discuss.

(Umm...I don’t have any debt.)

#2 The Sierra Club. They are so smart they started talking way before my machine picked up, so I missed the beginning. All I understood was that I should contact the Bush administration and urge them to "stop their assault on the environment."

(Huh? Is GW starting fist fights with buffalo?)

#3 "Paul Smith from Big Sky, a local satellite company." He told me he’s been in my neighborhood installing systems, and that one of my neighbors had recommended me.

(Umm...I don’t have a television. What neighbors? True, I live on a highly populated block, but nobody knows my name or my telephone number– well except for the pizza shop across the street.)

#4 Beth from Pioneer Movers. Called to discuss the estimate I requested.

(I did email a moving company and received an estimate, but this company is not the one I called. However, this is the only message from a live person I received.)

#5 The Sierra Club called again.

(Are you kidding me?)

#6 Sara Tate from Express Consolidation, called to let me know that I am pre-approved for debt consolidation and that I should call her back with my statements ready to discuss.

(Haven’t we already been through this? Are you sure you're not the same Sara from Debt Solutions?)

#7 "CONGRATULATIONS! You have won a 22 gig computer and a digital camera and a new cell phone and... you must have a ( -inaudible- ) savings account to qualify!

(Lucky me!...I still don’t have a savings account.)

#8 Your order is ready and will be until August 5th. Thanks for choosing Rite Aid.

(What order? I have no idea what you’re talking about.)

#9 Paul Church from Satellite TV promotions.

(I think I’ve been through this too. Is this Paul Smith?)

I know what you’re all thinking right now: "everybody hates telemarketers" and "frreeeak!"

Posted by at August 4, 2004 11:29 PM | TrackBack
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