Oscar Jr. Was Here

Moving to an Undisclosed Location

For the next week, posting will be light to non-existent, as I crash attend the wedding of these cute kids:

Please join me in toasting their happy future together.

And please behave yourselves. I'll be back soon, I hope.

On "Victory"

If you haven't already, I think you'll really want to read this. It doesn't seem possible, but Bill Whittle just keeps getting better.

Elvis Has a Blog

Well, maybe so, maybe not. But Beck has a blog, and it's a really good read.

(Via Ken Layne.)

IMAOlanche

Wow, an IMAOlanche! Thanks, Frank J.

Is it too late to withdraw my vote for the monkey?

Update: Ping!

Occasional Photograph

Quantifying the Blogosphere: Monkey Usage

In a non-perma-linked comment (on the current second post -- Blogger permanent links misfire) on Silent Running, Wind Rider writes:

That's just to irritate Frank. I have no idea why he hates monkies so. If only he'd take my advice about broiling them with plenty of garlic and lots of butter, maybe he'd come around.

I think the current monkey-hatred has something to do with this, but monkeys are a recurring theme on IMAO.

In the interest of further quantifying the blogosphere, I decided to see if Frank posts about monkeys more than other bloggers. Using the magic of Google, I compared the frequency of monkey (or monkeys or monkies)-references on IMAO with that of this site and, chosen at random, Cato the Youngest.

Results:

This site: 3 monkeys/177 posts=1.7% monkey usage rate;
Cato the Youngest: 2 monkeys/911 posts=0.2% monkey usage rate;
IMAO: 43 monkeys/590 posts = 7.3% monkey usage rate.

Conclusion: Frank J. really hates monkeys. Of course, monkeys are funny, too.

News from The Shallow End

"Juan Gato" "Ron Wilson" is funny.

In another post, "Ron" bemoans blogsnobbery. Excerpt:

Drifting aside, for a bit, it has been annoying to see that many bloggers want to hop on the same snob train. They were outsiders once, but now are very determined to create a new insiderism and elitism of their own. These constant conferences, which I hope have medical staff on hand to handle all the back-patting injuries, to declare how special! and new! bloggers are just because they decided to sit down and type some shit for free publication on the interweb, are silly to me. For a time, it seemed the blogging process was:

1. Start blog.
2. Get popular.
3. Get invited to conference on blogging.
4. Start going to so many conferences on blogging that you have no time to blog anymore except about how busy you are going to conferences on blogging.

I'm in no danger of 2, 3 or 4. I applaud Steve Gigl's suggested corrective:

I'm of the opinion that "blogger conferences" would be best held in bars. They'd be just as useful that way, and at least then some of the invitees would have more interesting stories the next day ("I threw up on Glenn Reynolds' laptop!").

(Copied from the comments to the post. Why do so few sites include permanent links to their comments? I hardly ever receive comments, but at least they are perma-linked.)

Actually, it's my impression that most weblog conferences (also known as "blog bashes") are held in bars.

International Bolshevik Tendency vs. Spartacist League/U.S.

I stumbled across this interesting debate between International Bolshevik Tendency ("IBT") and Spartacist League/U.S. ("SL") that took place in the days after September 11.

On September 18, 2001, IBT published this lovely essay, "World Trade Center Terror Bombing, U.S. Imperialist Rule: An Endless Horror." Excerpts:

The destruction of the World Trade Center on 11 September is a horrific act which the International Bolshevik Tendency unequivocally condemns. Hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers had friends or family members who lived, shopped or worked in the area. Unlike the personnel in the Pentagon (the command center of the U.S. military), the thousands of victims trapped in the World Trade Center’s twin towers and the hundreds of passengers and crew on board the four hijacked airliners were civilians whose deaths we mourn. As revolutionary socialists we abhor terrorist attacks that identify ordinary citizens with their imperialist rulers.

Well, at least they're unhappy about the WTC attack.

The record of the U.S. ruling class includes many instances of mass murder, including the firebombing of Dresden and Hamburg, the nuclear annihilation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and the massacre of over a million Vietnamese civilians in the 1960s and 70s. The current U.S. embargo on Iraq has resulted in the death of at least a million Iraqi children. However, the destruction of the World Trade Center is being treated by the imperialist media as an “attack on civilization” because this time American lives were lost.

Ah, good old moral equivalence.

The real enemy of workers, blacks and other minorities in the U.S. is not some shadowy Islamic fanatic in Afghanistan, but their own ruling class. Though U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East has been supported passively (and sometimes actively) by a majority of the population, the objective interests of ordinary working people in the U.S. are counterposed to Bush & Co. This may come into focus more clearly as the implications of looting the Social Security and Medicare “lock box” to finance the upcoming military expedition (and bail out airline and insurance company shareholders) become apparent.

Stupid American voters. And aren't "blacks and other minorities" workers?

A class-conscious union leadership would be making preparations to launch political strikes in response to military aggression against Afghanistan, Iraq or any other neo-colony. As a step in the struggle to break the grip of the pro-imperialist labor bureaucracy on the unions, revolutionaries must win the advanced elements of the American working class to the recognition that their interests lie in opposing the bloodthirsty military adventures of their rulers.

Stupid union voters.

A revolutionary socialist perspective for the Middle East must combine implacable struggle against Zionist oppression with exposure of the “anti-imperialist” pretensions of the petty-bourgeois leadership of the Palestine Liberation Organization, and flat opposition to the reactionary, misogynist Islamicist fanatics. If the oppressed Arab masses equate American workers with America’s rulers (or Jewish workers with their Zionist bosses), this only helps bind American and Hebrew workers more closely to their masters. Conversely, to the extent that Israeli and American workers identify with their “own” exploiters, they help cement the control of the sheiks, generals and mullahs over the Muslim masses.

Ick. And "Hebrew workers"?

Marxists oppose terrorism as a strategy for the liberation of the oppressed because, even in the best case, it substitutes the acts of a tiny handful for the conscious activity of the working class. But revolutionary Marxists differentiate between acts aimed at imperialist military targets and those aimed at innocent civilians. For example, we recognize that the demolition of the U.S. and French garrisons in Lebanon in 1983 by “Islamic Jihad” were defensible blows against imperialist attempts to establish a military beachhead in the Middle East. Some supposed Marxist organizations flinched, including the left-posturing Spartacist League/U.S., which issued a social-patriotic call for saving the surviving U.S. Marines.

Ah, that's why Marxists oppose terrorism ("it substitutes the acts of a tiny handful for the conscious activity of the working class"). No moral qualms, though.

And we can't be "saving the surviving U.S. Marines." But aren't Marines workers?

Revolutionaries must take a position of unconditional military defense of any neo-colony targeted for imperialist attack. It is the duty of class-conscious American workers to stand fast against the tidal wave of chauvinist filth and not lose sight of the historic interests of U.S. working people. The real threat to workers in the imperialist West does not come from bin Laden, Saddam Hussein or the Taliban, but rather from the cynical, racist imperialists whose global economic order created and nurtured them.

As Bolsheviks, we are committed to the struggle to create an internationalist world party capable of organizing the working class to overthrow the entire system of organized imperialist piracy. The only road to a future in which every member of humanity can enjoy a secure, peaceful and productive life lies through replacing the rapacious dog-eat-dog capitalist system with a planned socialist economy in which production is geared to human need.

Do your duty, revolutionaries and class-conscious American workers. But I think that "planned socialist economy" thing has already been tried.

Unsurprising, Spartacist League/U.S. took umbrage at being called "social-patriotic," and published this response in Workers Vanguard on October 12, 2001, "The Bolshevik Tendency and the Pathology of Renegades, On the Pentagon Attack."

The International Bolshevik Tendency (IBT) responded to the attack on the World Trade Center with a supplement to its journal 1917, titled, “U.S. Imperialist Rule: An Endless Horror.” Notably, if not the least surprisingly, the IBT says not a word in opposition to the red-white-and blue social-patriotism of the liberals and reformists whose “antiwar” coalitions are defined by bleating appeals to the imperialist rulers that “war is not the answer.” On the contrary, they reserve what polemical fire they have to attack the Spartacist League/U.S. as “social-patriotic,” citing our refusal to hail the attack on Marine barracks in Lebanon in 1983 as “defensible blows against imperialism.” In verbal exchanges, particularly with our younger members at recent protests, the IBT has demanded to know “our position” on the attack on the Pentagon which took place coincident with the destruction of the World Trade Center. Youth comrades in our Canadian section,, the Trotskyist League/Ligue Trotskyste, report this went so far as having IBT members pressing them to agree that all those killed in the attack on the Pentagon “deserved to die.”

Hey, we're not as bad as the "liberals and reformers."

Unlike the World Trade Center, which was simply a complex of buildings housing various businesses employing tens of thousands of working people, the Pentagon is the command and administrative center of the U.S. imperialist military, and rather quintessentially represents the military might of U.S. imperialism, the main enemy Of the working people and oppressed of the world. That recognition does not translate this attack into an “anti-imperialist” act, nor do we think the planeload of innocent passengers which was used as the massive bomb "deserved to die["] (or the janitors and secretaries who were employed at the Pentagon).

I guess that's more reasonable.

"[T]he Pentagon is the command and administrative center of the U.S. imperialist military, and rather quintessentially represents the military might of U.S. imperialism, the main enemy Of the working people and oppressed of the world."

Oppressed Afghans?

Oppressed Iraqis?

Oppressed Zimbabweans? ("On the eve of the strike workers at the firm had been seething. 'If only George Bush would come here and Saddam us,' said one. 'But he won't and so we will have to strike, and be arrested and beaten. We have no choice. The ministers break the cars that we pay for and get new ones and we pay for those too. We have no fuel, no food, no medicines at the hospitals, and Mugabe doesn't care.'")

Marxists we oppose terrorism as a strategy, even that which derives from real, if misguided, anti-imperialist impulses. It is counterposed to mobilizing the proletariat in class struggle against the imperialist rulers. The fact that innocent civilians are often killed in terror attacks, and that the end result only serves to bring down the jackboot Of the capitalist state on the necks of the working class and oppressed, underline the futility, and stupidity, of terrorism as a strategy for the liberation of the masses. Moreover such acts merely serve to provide the bourgeoisie a bloody shirt to wave in order to cement the workers to capitalist class rule.

Oh, that's why Marxists oppose terrorism ("such acts merely serve to provide the bourgeoisie a bloody shirt to wave in order to cement the workers to capitalist class rule"). Again, no moral qualms, though.

When over 240 U.S. Marines were blown to pieces in the bombing of a compound in Lebanon in October 1983, it provoked widespread outrage within the American population against the Reagan administration which had sent these troops to Lebanon. Seeking to intersect and direct this outrage into conscious opposition to the U.S. imperialist rulers for whom the lives of working-class troops are considered expendable, we raised the slogan; “Marines Out of Lebanon, Now, Alive!” The IBT’s predecessors in the “External Tendency" denounced us as “social patriotic” and solidarized with whatever forces blew up the Marines as “anti-imperialist.” But at the time, no side in the squalid inter-communal conflict in Lebanon was fighting imperialism! And to this day it is by no means clear who undertook this attack.

Ah, that's why SL supported "saving the surviving U.S. Marines." If they had been attacked for imperialism, it would have been another story entirely.

Our purpose is to bring revolutionary consciousness to the working class—the understanding that the “main enemy” is their “own” capitalist class rulers—in order to build the revolutionary workers party that can realize Lenin’s profoundly humanist view of the “socialist system of society, which, by abolishing the division of mankind into classes, by abolishing all exploitation of man by man, and of one nation by other nations, will inevitably abolish all possibility of war.” In contrast, the IBT’s vicarious bloodthirstiness and conspicuous silence on the social patriotism of the reformist left merely serve the interests of the class enemy, insofar as their insignificant forces are capable of serving any cause.

"Lenin's profoundly humanist view..."

I wonder why these articles now exist only in Google's wonderful cache.

International Monkey Assassin Organization News

The ever-innovative Frank J. of IMAO has developed a new strategy for determing which sites to include on his blogroll. (I really enjoy reading Silent Running, so I voted for "Link the blog only so it can be ceremoniously delinked later." I find the anticipation of delinking makes life more fun.) As usual, the monkey is winning.

Next, he's spreading more filthy lies about the Instapundit. Excerpt:

Make sure the press knows, because I want the first line of any story about blogs to be, "The most popular blog, Instapundit.com, is run by an evil man who blends puppies and murders hobos as part of a satanic ritual. That's why more people are going to IMAO.us which is run by Frank J., a man who loves puppies, denounces Satan, and has never done anything worse to a hobo than give one a minor concussion."

Finally, he's getting frustrated, and threatening to get new readers.

BTW, I keep hearing from people saying that they just heard about my blog. Why doesn't everyone know? Aren't you readers e-mailing everybody about me, and chastising any blog that doesn't have a link to me?

Between your lack of promotion and voting for the monkey, I'm starting to think of getting new readers.

I think that's enough Frank J. for today. Unless he posts something more.

Blogs around the World Update III

Last night, a rather late work-night, I added only one more new site to the Blogs around the World post:

The Daily Czech. Czech it out (sorry).

The proprietor of Peaktalk posts on a discussion in the comments regarding the inclusion of Peaktalk on the list. The decision as to whether to include certain sites has often been this difficult.

When I began this project, I set-out a few straightforward rules. To be included, a blog should: (a) be reasonable, (b) be in English, (c) be in the country at issue, and (d) provide some discussion of news in said country.

I later noted my decision to exclude blogs that cited the widely-debunked Marc Herold death statistics as violating (a). I've found that this rule eliminated some otherwise excellent sites, so I may relax it in the future.

I also know of a couple instances where I've included blogs that violate (c), and I've pushed the boundaries of (d) several times. Life is messy.

Anyway, I'm still eagerly seeking suggested additions.

Happy reading.

Puce News Concludes?

The voters were correct. I've got smart voters. (Well, Michele has smart voters.)

Ah, well... I was hoping the farce would continue for a bit. Can't wait to see Treacher's next fun project.

(For once, not via Michele, though she did get to post the "news" before me.)

Did We Err in Liberating Iraq?

Here's some proof that we did.

Hans Blix agrees:

Hans Blix, the U.N.'s chief weapons inspector, commented Tuesday on the lack of U.S. findings.

"It is conspicuous that so far they have not stumbled upon anything," he said in New York.

We'll never hear the end of this...

Puce News Deuce

Well, of course, for every Puce, there must be a Puce Watch. Excerpt:

'Cabradrate bad, chuby as eating cheese olny make thin, whups dead' CLICK

Oh, good one, genius. Uh, I think you mean "carbohydrate"? And if you could just throw in some, I don't know, GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION, that would be great. Thanks a bunch, retard.

And the speculation ensues...

(Via Michele, of course.)

Blogs around the World Update II

I've added seven more new sites to the Blogs around the World post:

Three Kuwait-based blogs, Live from Kuwait, qHate.com (mostly) and Simply Stinni;
The Russian Dilettante;
another Germany-based blog, Eamonn Fitzgerald's Rainy Day; and
two blogs based in Trinidad & Tobago, Nicholas Laughlin's blog etc. and Notes from a small island.

In addition, Farrago has created a similar post with a different focus. At present, there's much overlap between our lists, but I expect that they will diverge. CLICK

Again, I'm still eagerly seeking suggested additions.

Happy reading.

Blogs around the World Update

I've added a half dozen new sites to the Blogs around the World post:

Zimbabwe News, suggested by Farrago;
Hong Kong-based Flying Chair, suggested by Andrea See;
two Germany-based blogs, Ground Plums & Gun Smoke and PapaScott;
a blog by Peace Corps volunteer Kris Rush in Western Samoa; and
Venezuela News and Views.

A belated public thanks to Kathy K., Remi, Malthusiast, and Jay Solo for their recommendations.

I'm still eagerly seeking suggested additions.

Happy reading.

Puce News

Via Michele, I see that Puce (voters say Treacher, Treacher says Just Puce) has been quoted in the Online Journalism Review, is suggested for a "Pulitzer for Best Writing By an Internet Troll" (I really like this idea), and, in the comments, receives a marriage proposal.

Yeah, I'm jealous.

Next Steps in Iraq

Michael Ledeen has a very interesting piece on NRO today in which he discusses our need to quickly win the support of Iraq's Shiite majority before the Iranian regime sabotages efforts to bring freedom to Iraq. Excerpt:

Our best strategy consists of two programs, one defensive and one offensive. The first is to support pro-Western, pro-democracy mullahs in Najaf and Karbala. They have sent a message to me (roughly two dozen of them), offering to help us in exchange for physical protection and money to give as charity to followers. Most Iraqi people do not like the Iranians, but only their own religious leaders can credibly expose the Iranian operation. They will not believe our radio or television broadcasts, or speeches from American generals, but they will listen to their own religious leaders. Similarly, it is next to impossible for us to identify the Iranian-backed terrorists, but the Iraqi Shiites can do it, once they are convinced that their real salvation lies with us. That is why the battle for the minds of the Iraqi Shiites is so crucial.

The second program is to support the anti-regime forces inside Iran. That insane regime is now very frightened, both of us and of their own people. The ayatollahs know that the Iranian people long to be free, and the regime has intensified its repression during the run-up to the war. There are several pro-democracy groups in Iran (student and teacher organizations, trade unions, workers? group, especially in the oil and textile sectors) that can organize an insurrection in Tehran and other major cities. They need money (a fraction of what was squandered in the CIA’s failed program to induce an insurrection in Basra), satellite phones, laptop computers, and the like. At the same time, we should support the pro-American Persian language radio and TV stations in Los Angeles, that are the principal source of information for most educated Iranians.

A thoughtful Turkish general once remarked that the trouble with allying with the United States is that “you never know when the Americans are going to turn around and stab themselves in the back.” We have won a dazzling military battle, but victory in the war against terrorism is suddenly in peril. We can certainly win, but we are up against a desperate enemy with great skill and cunning, and the cynical ruthlessness that comes from an ancient civilization that has survived countless invaders and occupiers over many millennia. We’d better take them seriously.

He states that this must be accomplished within a month or two.

Blogging for Beginners Tip 213

The best way to get lots of visitors is:

1. Create a goofy poll.

2. Leave town.

3. Thank Michele.

What could be simpler?

Skipping Town

Apologies to the reader that keeps hitting "Refresh" in search of something new here (oh, wait, that's me), but I'm skipping town. I've swindled my $billions, enjoyed the company of the beautiful ladies, and have fallen down on my recycling duties.

I'll return when the coast is clear. A psychic friend tells me Monday night or Tuesday morning is safe. See you then, I hope.

And if anyone chooses to visit in the meantime, have fun, but please don't trash the place. It's the only one I've got.

Who's Puce?

Layne or Treacher?

Time for a scientific internet poll...

"Glenn Reynolds Puts Puppies in Blenders"

So says Frank J. of IMAO. He told me to spread the word, so I shall.

So there is the filthy lie: Glenn Reynolds puts puppies in blenders. Start spreading it to everyone. Tell your parents, tell your siblings, tell you uncle in Clevland, and send an e-mail to your congressman. And, when they exclaim, "Glenn Reynolds puts puppies in blenders! I'll never go to his site again!" You tell them, "Then go to IMAO.us. Frank J. is at the forefront in the fight against putting puppies in blenders."

Because he has the ear of "Donald Rumsfeld"...

Amusement

Via Ranting and Roaring (permanent link misfires), President Bush's Hotmail inbox.

Chuckle.

Upside-Down World

I find myself, possibly for the first time, agreeing with Christopher rather than Peter.

Peter Hitchens, excerpted:

...I should like to point out that there are British pro-American conservatives who are, nonetheless, opposed to the war on Iraq for sound conservative reasons. We do not think it is in America's interests or in British interests. In my case, I am not convinced that this will be a just war as defined by the Christian faith, nor am I convinced that the good conservative policies of deterrence and containment should be so lightly abandoned. I do not believe that there is anything conservative about war, which was the handmaiden and herald of state control and socialism throughout the twentieth century. And I fear that licensing pre-emptive war aimed at achieving regime change has serious implications for the conservative concept of national sovereignty.

Christopher Hitchens, excerpted:

This view, which admittedly expresses a wider concern, can stand some examination. The Iraqi oil industry was until March 2003 a fiefdom of the Baath Party. Its revenues were mysteriously apportioned but went to the upkeep of a militaristic and dictatorial regime. Its physical plant was much decayed, as a consequence of U.N. sanctions. The oil-for-food program was exploited in the most cynical manner by members and clients of the palatial Saddam regime, who used the semilegal trade to enrich themselves while starving and neglecting the population. (By the way, now that sanctions can be properly lifted, let us remember that their very imposition was opposed by the anti-war spokesmen, who would have scrapped them without conditions even though they had been imposed by the sacrosanct majority of the United Nations.) Meanwhile, vast contracts were awarded, on the basis of political favoritism, to Russian and French consortia. At moments when the Baathist authorities felt themselves insecure, they would threaten to set fire to the oil wells or—as in late March—would actually do so.

I've often agreed with both men, but I can't recall agreeing the the latter and not the former.

Democracy in Iraq

Via a comment on LGF, I found this fascinating Asia Times article. This excerpt address both the seeming massive overestimation of civilian casualties in the campaign and the small-scale introduction of democracy that has already occurred:

Iskander has his views on what took place in a faraway neighborhood of Hilla called Nader in the beginning of April. According to him, "Syrian Fedayeen came to this place, people tried to kick them out, and then the Americans bombed it." He said that there were a maximum of three civilian dead and 20 wounded. This contrasts with figures from the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC), according to which at least 61 people were killed and more than 460 seriously injured - mostly by cluster bombing - in what has become known as the Hilla massacre.

The new Iskander government is practically in place: it lists 14 members, including Sunni, Shi'ites and Kurds. But where will the money come from? Their only source of finance is "managers of Iraqi banks", who have already had a meeting with the Americans. The new government will start collecting taxes, but not now: "Our intention is to lower taxes," Iskander swore. "Our banks were not looted. There are some thieves who are returning money to mosques." He said that "for the last 35 years there was no money here, Saddam took it all. But there are 4 million Iraqis living outside the country. We are very rich. They should absolutely come back to rebuild their country."

Incipient supply-siders, perhaps?

Jed Babbin's Warblog

I hope anyone who stumbles onto this site has been faithfully reading Jed Babbin's warblog on NRO. Yesterday's post included these great nuggets:

If young Corporal Dan Roberts, USMC writes a memoir about the Iraq campaign, he could call it, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to Iraq." Wounded near An Nasiriyah, Roberts was confined to a military hospital. After a few days, he deemed himself cured and, ah, without asking permission, took off. After getting a set of BDU's and a helmet somewhere, he thumbed a ride or two and found his outfit in the fight to take Baghdad. Roberts got an M-16 and some web gear from his pals, and rejoined the fight. When he was interviewed yesterday by Ollie North, Corporal Roberts sounded a bit unsure of whether he was in trouble for kinda, sorta, going AWOL from the hospital. His gunny may growl at him, but I don't think a courts martial is in Roberts's future. A promotion maybe, not a courts martial. You just gotta love these guys.

Jason Sekzer's father, Will Sekzer, is a Vietnam veteran and a retired member of New York's Finest. Jason was killed in the 9-11 attacks on the World Trade Center. His dad sent an e-mail over to the Marines. It was a simple request. Mr. Sekzer asked that his son's name be painted on one of the bombs or artillery shells being used in the Iraq campaign. The request went up through channels. Yesterday I received the pictures of a 2,000-pount JDAM that had, "In loving memory of Jason Sekzer" painted on it. The e-mail from one of the boss Marine fly-guys was apologetic for the delay in acting on the request.

Sorry for the delay but business is booming. The weapons don't stay still long enough to write on them. For the record: The weapon this tribute was written on is a 2000 pound, Joint Direct Attack Munition (JDAM) GPS guided bomb. It's big, it's ugly and it's always lethal, just like we love them. It was dropped on the night of 1 April 03 against targets located east of Baghdad. The targets were associated with the Al Nida division of the Republican Guard. A United States Marine Corps F/A-18D flew the mission. The mission and the weapon were 100% successful. Let me know if there is any more I can do. It's my honor and pleasure.

Behold the Power of the Blogosphere

Wow! How neat is this? Frank J. of IMAO wrangled an interview with "Donald Rumsfeld." Excerpts:

Frank: I agree with that. Anyway, can I call you Rummy?

Rumsfeld: Only if you're tired of life.

Frank: I understand. So what evil foreigners should be killed next?

Rumsfeld: I say the Syrians. We're right there, so let's just drive over there and kill them too.

and

Frank: Now I remember what I wanted to ask you about: what's it like working with Condoleezza Rice?

Rumsfeld: She is quite good at her work, but I get this feeling she thinks she's smarter than me. I watch my back with her.

Frank: No, man, I meant like what's it like working with someone that hot. Do you ever go like, "Hey, Condi, could you get me those maps of Iraq... no, I mean the ones from the bottom shelf."

Rumsfeld: You impudent little...

Read the whole thing!

Operation Weasel

In a post below, I challenged my reader(s) to guess the last country to be assigned a blog in the Blogs around the World project. In a comment, Bigwig, of Silflay Hraka, voted for Nauru, which we were told, has disappeared.

Via Tim Blair (Blogger permanent links misfire), and then LGF, we now discover that Nauru still exists. It's just been busy:

A SWATH of North Korea's military and scientific elite, among them key nuclear specialists, has defected to the US and its allies through a highly secret smuggling operation involving the tiny Pacific island of Nauru.

The defections have taken place since last October and have been made possible through the help of 11 countries that agreed to provide consular protection to smuggle the targets from neighbouring China, according to sources close to the operation, which has now been wound up.

We'll see a blog from there yet!

Dissecting the Iraq Campaign

Today brings another classic essay from Victor Davis Hanson on NRO, "Anatomy of the Three Week War." I wonder what America's enemies (and potential enemies) will make of this:

The United States military is now evolving geometrically as it gains experience from near-constant fighting and grafts new technology daily. Indeed, it seems to be doubling, tripling, and even quadrupling its lethality every few years. And the result is that we are outdistancing not merely the capabilities of our enemies but our allies as well — many of whom who have not fought in decades — at such a dizzying pace that our sheer destructive power makes it hard to work with others in joint operations. In that context, we might reassess the need to take technology to its theoretical -nth degree: How many new sophisticated stealthy $1.5 billion bombers do we need, when the equivalent expenditure would pay for a more mundane but vital mechanized Division for an entire year?

Such unprecedented military power brings with it enormous moral responsibility as the world — its utopians especially — in the decades ahead will vie for a hand in the decisions on how to use it and for what purposes. There quite literally has never been a single nation that has exercised such colossal military force to change almost instantly the status quo, and used it under the auspices of a consensual government to free — Grenada, Panama, Serbia, Afghanistan, and Iraq — rather than to enslave peoples. How long it will last, we do not know, but we should at least realize that we are living in one of the most anomalous periods in recorded history.

Sophocles would warn us that hubris — not enemies in the here and now — is the only real danger to us on the horizon. But so far we have avoided the gods' nemeses precisely because our soldiers have put their power in the service of good by toppling odious despots — Noriega, Milosevic, Mullah Omar, Saddam Hussein — and leaving the seeds of freedom in their wake. We of an often cynical and ironic society at the least owe them a commensurate idealism.

Blog Stuff

Well, mostly Page stuff:

Via Page, I see that Horologium has, one hopes temporarily, moved here. I'll leave the usual link on the massive blogroll for now.

Page also has a few great blog-topics:

When bad shoes happen to pretty girls

and

When white pants happen to women with big J-Lo booties who don't wear underwear

and

When great cars happen to dorkasses who don't deserve them

I suspect that three people could make a living writing on these topics. I also think Page likes the term "dorkasses."

Meanwhile, progress continues on the Blogs around the World post, but I could use some help. I've found a few sites I wanted to include, but they cite the Marc Herold death statistics, so I've unilaterally and preemptively ignored them.

Blog Contest, Anyone?

Anyone want to hazard an educated guess as to which country will be the last to be assigned a blog in my Blogs around the World post?

Cuba? North Korea? Burma?

"Seeing Iraq and Raising Syria"

On NRO, Denis Boyles provides an amusing roundup of the Europress. Excerpt:

Most of us knew a war in Syria wasn't really the plan. But if you have a big, victorious army sitting around, you might as well use it as a way of leveraging a little serious attention, no? Non! The reaction of the French, the Germans, and the Left-wing Brits shows why Europeans can't play poker, and instead prefer games of pure chance, like roulette and driving in Italy. The quintessentially American skill of turning a card and making a bluff is just lost on them. Anybody could play a busted flush and make a French poker player fold. (Insert French surrender joke here.) For Le Figaro even sending Dom de Villepin, the French minister of strangeness (a literal translation, sort of), to Syria was "playing a risky game." Fortunately, the paper says, the Americans don't seem to care any more what de Villepin does or says, while the Syrians may have not taken him very seriously, either. As the paper points out, the Syrians have to ask themselves, "If Washington leans on [us], what will France be able to do to help? Why would France be more effective in a Syrian crisis than in the Iraqi crisis?"

Even better, it appears that this will be a regular feature.

Okay, I Quit!

Via Random Jottings, I see that The New Criterion has a forthcoming blog. Naturally, it's called Armavirumque. (Why didn't I think of that?)

I wonder if Corner denizen John Derbyshire or blog-reader Mark Steyn had anything to do with this.

And does anyone start a blog without borrowing Instapundit's blogroll? They could, at least, borrow mine.

Blogs around the World

Here's another Crazy Oscar Jr. Blog-Project.™ I'm hoping to find reasonable, approximately-English-written sites in as many countries as possible. Since CNN has admitted its dishonesty, I want my news direct!

This is obviously a work (just) in progress. (I haven't even made it through my blogroll yet.) I'll try to add more sites as time allows, and happily seek suggestions (which may or may not be honored). I'll post a link to this post on the sidebar (replacing the now unnecessary "Saddam Futures" link). I hope any readers will find the list as useful as I expect it to be.

Here goes:

The rest of the post has been moved to a page of its own. Please CLICK and, if you've been kind enough to link to this post, update your link.

Thanks!

MBITRW

Via Bill Quick, Mark Steyn addresses the quagmires-to-come and, I think, invents a new acronym: MBITRW ("Meanwhile Back In The Real World"). Excerpt:

9) "Weapons of Mass Destruction. Remember them? Not a single one has yet been found" (Bill Neely, ITV, April 10). MBITRW: Actually, I almost wish this one were true. Anything that turns up now will be assumed to have been planted. If I were Washington, I'd consider burying anything I found. After all, an America that feels no need to bother faking justifications for invasion would be far more alarming to most Europeans. Instead, horrible things will turn up, but will never be "conclusive" enough for the French, who've got all the receipts anyway.

10) America is already losing the peace. MBITRW: In a year's time, Iraq will be, at a bare minimum, the least badly governed state in the Arab world and, at best, pleasant, civilised and thriving. In short: not a bad three weeks' work.

Ante Up?

Via NZ Pundit, I see that a set of the "55 Most Wanted Iraqi Leaders Cards" are already for sale on eBay.

I really want a set, but I don't know if I want a set for $400+.

From the auction's description:

Show your pride own a piece of history and support our Brave Troops overseas.

Huh?

Saddameter Update the Last

According to Tradesports, it's over for Saddam:

Those that trusted in the steadfastness of the Coalition of the Willing and bet early would have earned a 92% return on their money. Not bad!

I wonder if it's time for some Assadometer posts...

Questioning ANSWER

As A.N.S.W.E.R. prepares for yet another march in Washington, I revisited some of my posts on its supporters.

In this post, I excerpted a July 7, 1999, interview with Felicity Arbuthnot, freelance journalist and International ANSWER "Coalition Co-Signer" on the World Socialist Web Site. Among many other things she said, I found this to be surprising:

They also targeted education. In every single town in Iraq, the educational establishments were targeted. On the same day the stores that provided educational materials were also targeted. This can only be described as a kind of cultural or historical cleansing.

Could this be an explanation?

Scores of black leather vests stuffed with explosives and ball-bearings were found by U.S. Marines at a Baghdad school, along with empty hangers hinting that suicide attackers might be wearing them in the chaotic city.

More than 40 of the vests -- on hangers and shrouded in plastic -- lay on the floor of a classroom Saturday morning, two days after Marines discovered them in an elementary school in a middle-class neighborhood.

And this?

A junior high school about 150 yards away was filled with hundreds of huge crates of weapons, rocket-propelled grenades, surface-to-air missiles and shoulder-launched rockets.

And this:

Staff Sgt. Glen McCaskill, an infantry squad leader with the Army's 101st Airborne Division, said he had discovered 200 boxes of bullets and mortar tubes on Saturday in a classroom in Najaf, in southern Iraq. He said residents had been pointing out arms caches all over the city to U.S. forces. "They want somebody to get it out of the schools," he said.

And this?

About 30 miles southwest of Baghdad, another soldier with the 101st Airborne was checking a school Saturday when he made a chilling discovery: In a classroom, crude drawings in crayon depicted people clutching dynamite near U.S. tanks.

"We were like, what the heck is this?" said Sgt. Kevin Cruz, 21, an infantryman from Chicago. "The Fedayeen [militia] are teaching little kids about suicide bombs."

Cruz said his unit had begun regularly searching schools after finding rocket-propelled grenades in the offices of school principals in Karbala, in central Iraq, a few days earlier.

Could Ms. Arbuthnot, who had "just returned to Britain from her eighteenth visit" to Iraq, have known about this misuse of Iraqi schools?

Update: Via Steven Den Beste, this extremely interesting Newsweek article notes:

Meanwhile, U.S. forces continue to find all sorts of dark treasure. Every Iraqi school searched—more than 100—contained a weapons depot.

Blogging News

Laurence Simon, Mr. Amish Tech Support, has moved to a new, Movable Type-generated, site. It looks good, though I miss the icons.

Update your bookmark if you, like me, want to keep up with Mr. Simon's sanity and Rufus. I have.

Karaoke Star Barbie

In the latest issue of Forbes FYI, P.J. O'Rourke writes about life in the country. Excerpt:

It does make the kids happy to find out that almost everything on their plates is some kind of frozen treat. "It's a porkcicle!" I tell them. And, speaking of happy kids, we got a dog. Nick Papandreou said that he wanted to do something to make up for the current price of asphalt. ("It's the War on Terrorism," he explained. "Asphalt's gone sky-high.") So, when the locally famous hunting dog owned by Nick's brother George had a litter, Nick made sure I obtained first pick. George Papandreou is a restaurateur and noted sportsman in these parts. He owns Quaintford's only Chinese take-out, Athens Dim Sum, and also Chow Mein Kennels.

The dog is a purebred Shedhair Setter from a distinguished line of field trial close runners-up.

"What shall we name the puppy?" I asked my excited daughters.

"Karaoke Star Barbie," answered Muffin without hesitation. Poppet nodded in vigorous agreement.

"But..." I said.

"Karaoke Star Barbie!" insisted Muffin.

"...the puppy is..." I demurred in a conciliatory tone.

"Karaoke Star Barbie," sniffed Muffin, tears beginning to roll.

"...a male," I muttered.

Karaoke Star Barbie will answer to nothing else. I've tried "Karey," "Okie," "Star" and even "Barb," but he comes only if addressed as "Karaoke Star Barbie" in full.

However, a country squire hasn't got an Esq. to his name without a good bird dog, in my opinion. Therefore, with philosophical attitude toward his peculiar moniker, I have been putting Karaoke Star Barbie into the nearby woods, schooling him with firm and full-throated commands to be "steady to wing and shot" and not chase squirrels while barking insanely and wrapping his 25-five-foot check cord around a tree trunk like a yo-yo string. By means of this rigorous program of training, a keen-nosed scout of upland game is being crafted, as is, apparently, a large body of jokes at my expense. I have heard, "Karaoke Star Barbie, roll over," from the far bay at the self-service gas station; "Karaoke Star Barbie, here's a bone," from somewhere near the meat counter in the grocery store and snatches of "Who Let the Dogs Out" sung in the last row of folding chairs at the Town Meeting.

It's a chuckle-worthy, Lileksian, piece of writing, and Forbes FYI is, as usual, terrific.

Blog Forecast

There's a 15 percent chance of light posting this weekend as I seek to avoid dealing with my tax forms.

Flat tax, anyone?

VDH on MoDo

On NRO, Victor Davis Hanson discusses Yesterday's News, including Maureen Dowd. Excerpt:

On a minor note, I was pleased to read that Maureen Dowd yesterday criticized things that I (a.k.a. "Mr. Davis") had written as consistent with the thinking of some in the administration. I confess that her writing has long bothered me, always in times of national duress reflecting an elite superficiality that is out of touch with most of us in the America she flies over. It is not just that for the last two years she has been wrong about Afghanistan, wrong about the efficacy of the war against terror, and wrong about Iraq — despite yesterday's surprising sudden admission that "We were always going to win the war with Iraq." The problem is more a grotesque chicness that quite amorally juxtaposes mention of tidbits like alpha males, Manhattan fashion — and her own psychodramas — with themes of real tragedies like the dying in the Middle East and war's horror.

So she just doesn't get it. It is precisely because Mr. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz hate war, wish to avoid a repeat of the vaporization of 3,000 in Manhattan and the specter of further mass killing from terrorists, armed with frightening weapons from rogue states like Iraq, that they resorted to force. She evokes Sherman (who called something like 19th century Dowdism "bottled piety") with disdain, but forgets that Sherman, who saw firsthand the grotesqueness of Shiloh, proclaimed that war was all hell — but only after his trek through Georgia where he freed 40,000 slaves and destroyed the icons of the Confederacy, while losing 100 soldiers and killing not more than 600 young non-slave-holding Southerners, an hour's carnage at Antietam or Gettysburg.

Lileks Has Posted

I rarely link to Lileks' Bleats, assuming that pretty much everybody reads them anyway. Unsurprisingly, tonight he has great stuff on Iraq, and Gnat, but I choose to highlight this paragraph:

Other than that, a difficult day. Personal highlight: listening to Hugh Hewitt tonight. He was interviewing Victor Davis Hanson, military historian and long-view essayist extraordinare. Hugh had quote two Bleats this week, and I was delighted to be quoted on a show that also had VDH as a guest. It almost made us . . . lung buddies. (Sorry; Achewood reference.) (Which you should get! Read Achewood!) As the interview wound down, Hewitt threw out a quote from one of my Bleats and asked VDH if he agreed. Ohhhhh, MAN. If he says no, I will - not - live - this down. I mean, these things are just rambling babble banged out at the kitchen table at midnight; I come up with an aphorism, read it to the dog - he doesn’t seem to argue. Up it goes on the website, off to bed, ZZZZ. Now to my horror it’s presented to VDH for approval. (He agreed with the point. I rule! Football-spiking gesture.)

(Just my luck: the permanent link to this post isn't working tonight, either.)

If you don't regularly read Lileks, click here and add him to your "Favorites" (or "Bookmarks," or whatever your browser calls them) and visit daily, Monday through Friday.

You'll thank me later. Perhaps daily.

Posts of the Day, a Good Day

In A Tale of Two Cities - A Photo Essay, John Cole of Balloon Juice compares and contrasts:

My goodness, how awful. They are giving the evil imperialist invaders flowers. How much more of this can we take? Quick, dust off the little red book and head to the streets

Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs says In Our Name:

This moment is IN OUR NAME.

Those who sought to keep the Iraqi people in their living hell, who stood in the way of their liberation, and insisted that the US and Britain and Australia and our many other partners had no right to take action to defend both the Iraqis and ourselves: This was NOT IN YOUR NAME.

Michael Totten has pictures you'll want to see.

And Tim Blair may be feeling conflicted:

I SHOULDN'T be so happy. After all, I'm a right-wing deathbeast, and the end (or near end) of a war should upset me, because we conservatives lust for war all the time. Except when we have to fight it ourselves, of course. Being chickenhawks and all.

And the toppling of a fascist dictator should have me all weepy and nostalgic for Hitler. Because I'm a fascist, according to much of the mail I receive.

Those Iraqis dancing in the streets? That should really piss me off, because I want to oppress them and steal their oil. Why are they even able to dance? I was promised 500,000 murders, yet thus far only 1,000 or so innocents have died.

So why am I so damn happy? I really can't explain.

I'd go and ask some oppression-hating anti-fascist peace activists about it, but for some reason they're all incredibly depressed.

(I've stolen the whole post, since it really can't be excerpted. His permanent links aren't working, so just read everything on his site.)

Saddameter Update

Speculators have decided that Saddam is a goner:

They give him a 3 percent chance of remaining in power through the end of the month, and a 1 percent chance of surviving through July. Think he'll make it? Place your bets -- the profits will be high -- though I hope you lose.

If I'd purchased the contract on him being out of power this month when I first posted on this, February 16, 2003, I would have earned 54 percent to date.

News from Baghdad

On Fox News, two (apparent) Iraqis are carrying a banner that reads:

Go Home
Human Shields
You U.S. Wankers

Heh.

Meanwhile, in The Corner, Jonah Goldberg writes:

The wobbly hawks like Josh Marshall are wondering why they switched teams in the third quarter. Maureen Dowd still doesn't get it, but it takes more than a war to make her understand. But that's okay because kids have been released from the Tyke Gulag -- and the gang at the Nation need to come up with a reason why that's a bad thing.

Antiwar protestors are circling their picnic blankets and fingering the dregs of their trail mix bags, wondering what to do next like dogs whose food bowl's been moved. They'll figure something out, alas. But they'll have to explain how sanctions and inspections would have resulted in Iraqis cheering in the streets.

A good day, so far, indeed.

Update: Sign confirmed.

Great Photograph

In this post, I quoted International ANSWER "Coalition Co-Signer" Roz Rayner-Rix:

We all are aware of the character of Saddam Husain. He has been fairly quiet for a number of years. He has his followers, yet he is not loved by all Iraqi's. Many of these people are extremely poor, as are many Palestinians. What harm have they done to us?

I cannot condone any military action on Iraq at this time. The so called evidence for the construction of Nuclear weapons is so flimsy. The scientists documents found by the weapons inspectors were the mans personal property. Did you see the amount of dust on those chemical weapons containers? Everyone I speak to has seen right through this scam....

In response, I asked:

Does she: (a) deny that removing the Taliban improved the lives of women in Afghanistan, (b) accept that the lot of Afghan women was improved, but deny that removing the Baathists will improve the lives of women (and non-women) in Iraq, or (c) simply latch onto the cause-of-the-day?

Via The Greatest Jeneration, some evidence that "condon[ing] military action on Iraq at this time" may have been warranted:

The other picture Jen has posted is also awesome.

Someone might also want to consult with the parents of the formerly imprisoned children:

"Hundreds of kids were swarming us and kissing us," Padilla said.

"There were parents running up, so happy to have their kids back."

"The children had been imprisoned because they had not joined the youth branch of the Baath party," he alleged. "Some of these kids had been in there for five years."

Help, I Can't Stop Laughing!

Perhaps it's just a case of teen-reversion, but this comment cracked me up:

Your comments are all in my way. You are all wangs.

Posted by Frank J. at April 6, 2003 06:35 PM

It may help to have read the post on IMAO first.

Public Service Announcement

Maripat of the yummy Right We Are! blog writes:

There's a benefit concert featuring the Marshall Tucker Band which will take place on May 1 in Spartanburg, SC

This event is taking place in the same community and on the same date
and time as the Dixie Chicks opening night of their "Top of the World"
North American tour.

If you have the space, could you please post all or part of the
information I'm providing below on your blog? All of the proceeds of
this concert are going to support the military families around this
great country!

It's a great cause, and I am happy to oblige. Here's the info:

The Mike Gallagher Show announced that the headliner for the upcoming concert in Greenville Spartanburg, South Carolina to benefit U.S. Military families will be the legendary Southern rock band, "The Marshall Tucker Band."

The concert, called "Gallagher's Army presents The Marshall Tucker
Band to Benefit our Military Families," will take place Thursday, May
1, 2003 at 7:30pm at the Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium.

This event is taking place in the same community and on the same date
and time as the Dixie Chicks opening night of their "Top of the World"
North American tour.

All proceeds from the concert will go to help military families around
the U.S.

For Gallagher, this fund raiser for military families is the highlight
of a 25 year broadcasting career. "As a talk radio host, I'm used to
complaining or agreeing on the radio -- it's all talk. This is the
first time we've figured out a way to actually DO something to help
people, in this case, American military families. I couldn't be prouder
of our listeners who have so far contributed over $125,000 to
our "Gallagher's Army" fund to bring food and personal care items to
military families all over the country," he said.

CLICK HERE to order your tickets for the May 1st alternative concert in Spartanburg, SC. You can also call your local Ticketmaster, or call 864-233-2525 to get your tickets now.

If I could attend, I'd be there.

Who Knew?

It should surprise no one that CGHill Fisks® like a gentleman (Grade Level 9.7):

Let me guess: You're upset because we didn't send the Marines to Riyadh on the 12th of September. Oh, you're not? Wasn't that enough of an immediate threat? Or is it going to take mining the runway at Bradley International to get your attention? It obviously can't be some sudden concern for Iraqi civilians, since Saddam routinely whacked more of them on a, um, "daily basis" than we've managed in half a month so far. You want criminals, Al, you're looking at the wrong end of the pipeline.

But, "a registered Democrat"?

Even Saddam Loves Bananas

Matt Labash adventures in Kuwait and Iraq with Christopher Hitchens and, briefly, P.J. O'Rourke. It's a great read, both funny and moving. Excerpts:

You can tell how at ease a man is in the world from the scarcity of possessions he lugs around with him. When I came here, it was with large backpacks and overstuffed duffels, extraneous tote bags, pouches, and carry-ons. But Hitchens showed up at my door with nothing more than a firm handshake and a half-smoked pack of Rothman's. As he stood there, rumpled and slightly jetlagged in blue jeans and a black leather jacket, he looked sort of like the Fonz--if the Fonz had been a British former socialist who could pinch large swaths of Auden from memory.

We plopped down in the living room, and I asked him why he hadn't brought his gas mask, chem suit, and Kevlar. "I wore Kevlar in the Balkans once," he said, "but it made me feel like a counterfeit, so I ditched it." Despite this cavalier disregard for safety, I was so grateful for the company that I offered him a Welcome-To-Kuwait shot of "Listerine" (as it is known by Kuwaiti customs officials). "I don't usually start this early," said Hitchens with feigned reluctance, "but holding yourself to a drinking schedule is always the first sign of alcoholism."

and

As I sidled up to them, O'Rourke, here for the Atlantic Monthly, congratulated me, telling me I was probably the only person here serving a smaller readership than he was. I showed both of them the contents of my swag bag, from which I intended to pass out gifts like GI Johnny from some bad World War II movie. "What?" said O'Rourke, "No chewing gum?" O'Rourke is an old hand in these parts, having gotten a book out of the first Gulf War ("Give War a Chance"). And so he was holding forth with mock bravado, telling us we hadn't seen anything. During 1991, he said, Scuds were coming down like rain. "The worst part was, the Saudis didn't know how to respond. They'd be driving like this [turning the wheel wildly] while looking out the window up into the sky. You stood a lot less chance of getting killed by a Scud than you did by an unguided Chevy Caprice."

and

He told us that before the first war, the best way to bribe Iraqi officials was to offer them chocolate ice cream and bananas. "Even Saddam loves bananas," said Najeef. "If you gave bananas to Saddam, he'd probably let you [have relations with] him." Perhaps Hitchens was a better trip coordinator than I originally thought.

and

It is understandable, then, if their actions and emotions aren't easily classified--if they don't look too happy at all these journalists piling off buses like Great White Santas on safari. They love the help, and hate that they need it. While I passed out candy and toys to children, on more than one occasion, an adult stepped in and waved me off. One shot me an assassin's glare and offered a stern admonition. When I asked a relief worker what was said, he explained, "He is ashamed of his shit conditions. They are proud. This is not who they are. They do not want outsiders coming here and seeing them this way."

You may want to Read the Whole Thing.

Axis of Evil Blogs

Are you tired of the (largely-justified) triumphalism of the warbloggers?

Are you turned-off by the foul language and moral equivalence of the "anti-war" blogs that fret about lost freedoms and human rights while supporting dictatorial regimes?

Then you may want these links:

Osama's bin Bloggin:

Parody? Here's a great article in the American Journalism Review, and Osama praises Allah for the brief mention of his Islamic ji-blog not too far into the story. Only one question: why does she call this a parody? Osama works hard to fill his blog with serious comments on the jihad against the infidels!

Osama asks your forgiveness for his near month-long absence. Do you know how hard it is to find Internet access in the wilds of eastern Pakistan?

Perhaps unsurprising, this blog has not been updated in awhile.

Saddam's Cyber Palace:

There are fewer bombs falling tonight. This would seem to vindicate my brilliant strategy: If I simply waited long enough, the dirt dwelling invaders were bound to run out of bombs!

This post is dated tomorrow, proving, once-and-for-all, that Saddam is dead. It may be maintained by one of the many Saddam-imposters, or by denizen-of-tomorrow, Tim Blair.

Finally, we have Kim Jong Il (the illmatic)'s LiveJournal:

My internet connection is getting spotty, which sucks. I’m the only one who has broadband in the whole country so it’s not like there’s a tech support person I can just call up. I guess I could fix it myself, I mean I did invent the internet but sometimes I forget how it works.

My understanding of it is that DSL modems have little monkeys inside that fill little baskets with information. When your connection goes down it means the monkeys are tired. Little bastards! They don’t know the meaning of *juche.* I am leaving unwrapped bananas on top of the modem so the scent will motivate them.

I have to go, I’m planning the kidnapping of Bobby Flay and Julia Child. I will force them to mate. Write more later.

Get your Axis-of-Evil news direct! And, if anyone knows of any Ayatollah blogs, please let me know. I'm pretty sure all of these sites are legitimate, but, for all I know, they may actually be Ken Layne productions.

Update: Curious, I tried http://www.ayatollah.blogspot.com/:

Finally, I jumped on the band wagon and made a blog. Today was a truly fucked up day. I ain't gonna get all annoying and shit like Prana/pika! with my girl shit but here it goes. My girl, Vicky, who I've been going with since December and I have been going through some shit these past two weeks because she heard I was cheating on her. She has a bad ass attitude and I put up with alot of shit. So she called me last Friday and we started arguing, I was like "Man, I can't take this no more. F*ck you hoe" then hung up. April 24th, her birthday. My homeboys was clowning her and shit because she was standing alone like usual at lunch. I called her afterschool and tried to wish her Happy Birthday, but as usual she had a pissy attitude and didn't say shit to me except "Thank you". Anyway, off the subject of the bitch.

I might be wrong, but I don't think this one is legitimate.

(Sorry, mom!)

An Interesting Show

Also on NRO, another great essay by Victor Davis Hanson in which he predicts many ironic results of this war. Excerpts:

Something weird, something unprecedented, is unfolding, driven by American public opinion — completely ignored in Europe — and the nation’s collective anger that Americans are dying by showing restraint as they are slandered by our “friends.” Despite the protestations of a return to normalcy, this present war will ever so slowly, yet markedly nonetheless, change America’s relationships in a way unseen in the last 30 years.

With little help from Saudi Arabia or Turkey — “allies” and “hosts” to our troops — damned by many of our NATO allies, stymied in the U.N., turned on by Russia, opposed by Germany and France, the Coalition nevertheless is systematically liberating a country under the most impossible of conditions. This experience in turn will oddly — if we avoid hubris and maintain our sanity — liberate us as well.

Far from making the United States hegemonic, the success in Iraq will have a sobering effect on Americans. Contrary to pundits the hard-fought Anglo-American victory will not make us into hegemonists, but simply less naïve about tradition-bound relationships and the normal method of doing business. I would expect military spending to increase, even as reluctance grows to get involved with any of our traditional allies.

and

And as for Britain, Australia, Spain, Denmark, Italy, and a host of Eastern European countries who are rolling down the tracks with us, waving to the exasperating at the station, we have to show them as much appreciation for their stalwart courage as we do abject disdain for the duplicity of their peers behind.

The world is upside down and we should expect some strange scenes of scrambling in the weeks ahead as side-glancing diplomats and nail-biting envoys flock to meet Mr. Powell in Washington, who — far from fearing those recent idiotic calls for his resignation — will in fact emerge as one of the most effective and powerful secretaries in recent history. Such are the ironies of war.

Read the whole thing.

Against Democratic Revolution

On NRO, Michael Ledeen predicts that the terror masters in Iran and Syria will join the current war in defense of Saddam's regime. Excerpts:

Just as I have been saying for these many frustrating months, we would find ourselves in a regional conflict, whatever we wanted, and whatever fanciful ideas the likes of Armitage and policy-planning chief Richard Haass conjured up for their personal satisfaction.

Now, Eli Lake of UPI reports that the government is aware of Iranian terrorist operations inside Iraq, and there have been many stories reporting Syria’s campaign to send terrorists across the border to attack us. In truth, we didn’t need intelligence to know this was going on, because the Iranian and Syrian tyrants had announced it publicly. Assad gave an interview recently in which he proclaimed — in words that could have been taken right out of my book — that Lebanon was the model for the struggle that had to be waged in Iraq against Coalition forces. And Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei gave a speech a few weeks ago in which he said that the presence of American troops in Iraq would be even worse for Iran than the hated regime of Saddam Hussein.

So they are coming to kill us, which means that there is no more time for diplomatic “solutions.” We will have to deal with the terror masters, here and now. Iran, at least, offers us the possibility of a memorable victory, because the Iranian people openly loath the regime, and will enthusiastically combat it, if only the United States supports them in their just struggle. One may legitimately ask if the Iraqi people are fully prepared for the burdens of democracy after the mind-numbing years of Saddam (I think they are, mind you, but the question is fair), but there is no doubt that the Iranians are up to it. And Syria cannot stand alone against a successful democratic revolution that topples tyrannical regimes in Kabul, Tehran, and Iraq.

and

We have written an exceptional page of military history in Iraq, but it can be undone by suicidal political blunders in the region in the very near future. It's time to bring down the other terror masters.

Faster, please.

Quantifying the Blogosphere: A Preliminary and Sloppy Analysis of Readability

In tonight's attempt at quantifying the Blogosphere, I've gathered Microsoft Word's readability statistics for eleven blogs (ten popular, and mine). Of the popular blogs, five are written by professional writers (Daily Pundit, Dave Barry, Ken Layne, Matt Welch, and James Lileks), while five are not (The Volokh Conspiracy, Instapundit, Eschaton (Atrios), Silflay Hraka, and Dustbury.com).

I presume that Atrios is not a professional writer. In a sense, law professors (Instapundit and many of the Volokh conspirators) are professional writers, but their statistics were very different from those of the professionals listed above, so I left them separate.

According to this Hallmarks of Good Writing page:

Unless you are using passive voice for a specific purpose (e.g., to soften bad news, in certain scientific writing), try to keep the percentage of passive sentences less than about 5-10%. Why? Passive voice sentences (i.e., sentences in which the subject receives rather than performs the actions of the verb) are boring and lifeless. The grammar checking function in Word can help you find and fix sentences that contain passive voice verb forms.

The average percentage of passive-voice sentences in this sample is 7%. The average for the professional writers is 4%, and the average for the non-professionals (as I've categorized them) is 9%. (For what it's worth, the average for my site was 8%.) The professional writers ranged from 2% (Dave Barry) to 7% (Matt Welch), and the non-pros ranged from 6% (Instapundit) to 11% (Silflay Hraka and Atrios).

The same good-writing site notes:

The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level measure computes readability based on the average number of syllables per word and the average number of words per sentence. The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level indicates a grade-school level. For example, a score of 8.0 means that an eighth grader would understand the document. Standard writing approximately equates to the seventh-to-eighth-grade level. Try to keep your documents at about 12 or below.

The average Grade Level in this sample is 9.1. The average for the professional writers is 8.0, and the average for the non-professionals (as I've categorized them) is 10.2. (For what it's worth, the average for my site was 9.4.) The professionals ranged from 7.0 (Lileks) to 10.0 (Matt Welch), and the non-professionals ranged from 9.6 (Dustbury) to 11.4 (the Volokh gang).

I also note that the analysis of Bill Quick's blog includes its inline comments, perhaps biasing these results. However, there was only one comment on the page from Tony Foresta (no passive sentences, 7.0 Grade Level).

For this small sample of websites, there was no statistically significant relationship between Grade Level and the number of inbound links.

The small amount of overlap between these two samples is interesting (to me, at least). I hope to extend this analysis in the days to come.

Update: According to Microsoft Word, the statistics for this post are 0% passive sentences and 10.8 Grade Level. Given the amount of quotations I include here, I wonder if this is a more accurate measurement.

Update the update: I've been thinking about gathering these statistics for awhile now, but this post by CGHill:

30 March 2003 Ne plus ultra

Sooner or later, someone always asks: "So who's the best actual writer with a blog?"

Easy enough. I point to James Lileks, and quickly comes the demurral: "But he's, like, a professional."

In that case, the question becomes: "Who's the best writer with a blog who also has a non-writing day job?"

Still easy enough. This time I point to Bill Whittle.

It's an honor to be on the same continent as these guys.

and this comment on the post:

So, does being a professional somehow not make you a "real" writer? I know the average person has a warped idea about the value of scribes, but this is ridiculous... I guess we're in the same boat as all the allegedly overpaid pro athletes: we should all refuse paychecks and play simply for the love of the game. :)

Posted by CT at 4:34 PM, 30 March 2003

may have spurred me.

Bill Whittle's post linked by Mr. Hill contained 11% passive sentences and was at a 9.6 Grade Level, and I very much recommend it.

A. Beam of Mystery in Blogistan

Back in January, I posted on the mysterious nexus of Layne, Beam and Barry. Following Tuesday's celebration of Alex Beam day, my curiousity was renewed. Here's some of what Mr. Layne had to say on the subject yesterday:

And guess what? I figured out A. Beam's identity. He gave way too many clues to Cathy, and Brian lured him right into one of those cyber-traps you see on the teevee police dramas, and I ran his writing style through a couple of dozen Chomsky-Linguistics tests, and we had our man.

Or did we?

In Mr. Layne's comments, one sees the following:

My source tells me he's a corporate goon, who swallowed too many pills, and wound up nekkid on the beach, wondering if he wuz queer, or sumpthin'.

Posted by Jesus Ramirez at April 2, 2003 01:59 PM

Jesus! I resent that! I did not wind up nekkid on the beach! I was wearing a nice little thong set from Fredericks! A bit small, though.

Posted by a. beam at April 2, 2003 02:12 PM

Oh, and get back onto Layne's hard drive, Ramirez! We're all awaiting the Dot.Con sequel!

Posted by a. beam at April 2, 2003 02:13 PM

C'mon Layne, we discussed this a while back. He's not who you think he is, he's in a whole different state.

Posted by Matt Moore at April 2, 2003 03:27 PM

Say, Ken, since we both know who he is, do you think we should BLACKMAIL him???

Or at least torture him by dropping subtle hints now and then?

Posted by Cathy Seipp at April 2, 2003 05:45 PM

Dot Con, I say. So many clues!

What do you think, Page?

Picture of the Day

Originally seen on LGF.

Click on the picture to read the comments there, some of which are pretty funny. Feel free to leave your own caption in the comments here.

War Coverage

Two occasional readers have tonight asked how I am following the war, so I'll post a few links. For current events, I mostly follow posts on these sites:

The Command Post
NRO's The Corner
Blogs of War

Many of the sites on the sidebar also post on current events and/or have extended essays on the war. I try to read them all to the extent possible.

More, perhaps, later.

Practice Mugshot

A. Beam Is Back in Blogistan

Via the sincerely generous Last Page, I see that A. Beam is celebrating a very special anniversary.

Happy anniversary, A. Beam. The conspiracy resumes.

Cowboy-Nerd-Hotrod-Flyboy Culture

The Belligerent Bunny starts with this excerpt from today's great Victor Davis Hanson essay:

(8) Criticisms of the present generation are misplaced. In fact, in this last decade of wars our youth shows signs of being the best fighting cohort of Americans since that of World War II.

Discussing America's troops, and comparing them with those of the Greatest Generation, Anna writes:

I wonder what kind of fluency or special knowledge might be useful on today's electronic battlefield? And which country has the highest rate of computer ownership? What martially useful thing can you build out of guns, computers and cars (or planes)? Any ideas?

In its indescribeably vastness, America is a cowboy-nerd-hotrod-flyboy culture. A more lethal combination you will find nowhere else on the planet. Oh, and we love football which is pure, ritualized combat.

[...]Mr. Hanson: there's just no contest. Today's democratic warriors are smarter, faster, more accurate and without equal in history.

You might want to read the whole thing.