Pepperoncini and paper cuts don't mix.
Ordering lunch off the dollar menu will not make your stomach happy in the afternoon.
Amish beef sticks are spicier than Slim Jims.
Grover is still better than Elmo.
Miller Light, although it tastes like water, is not. It's just cheaper.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Even me.
"Don't mess with Texas." Why screw up a good thing?
Whacking your girlfriend for tickling your feet will get you NOWHERE! But kissing her on the forehead might.
